Crib Sleeping Hack

I'm a big fan of Parent Hacks. I've found some wonderful advice there and after being a regular reader for several months. I now see hacks everywhere, and like many of the people who write to Asha, the editor of Parent Hacks, I often assume everyone already knows about these hacks. Then I end up surprised when I pass it on to a friend who had never thought of it. So in the spirit of sharing even if everyone already knows it, here's a hack I just implemented.

C is 12 weeks old today and rapidly outgrowing her bassinet. She sleeps well in it and I'm concerned that the transition to the crib will be rocky. Here's the plan I implemented. First I started putting the removal top of her bassinet in the crib. She's been sleeping like that for about two weeks. Now, I've started keeping the bassinet hood down and getting her used to seeing what is in the room around her. Next I will stop using the vibration on the bassinet which I rarely use now but still occasionally turn on when she's having a hard time settling herself. A few days after that, I'll remove the bassinet completely.

C takes her afternoon naps in my room since she shares a room with M who has a very noisy "quiet" time in the afternoon. To help C get used to sleeping elsewhere without the bassinet, I'm going to start putting the bassinet top inside the pack-n-play today.

Diaper Bag List

I've been reading a lot of posts about organization on my various feeds lately, and they've inspired me to try to get back to some of the routines and organizational strategies I've used in the past. When I was packing my diaper bag/purse to go to our local Nature Center today, I decided to revise the list I used to keep detailing what needed to be in the bag and share it here:

Diapers
Wipes
Changing pad
Plastic bags for dirty diapers or clothes
Burp rag
Small blanket
Change of clothes for the baby
Pacifier
Pony-tail bands for me and my 3yo
Tissues
Snacks
Water bottles (one for me, one for my 3yo)
A baby toy or two
Crayons and a small notebook
Small can of playdough
Small first aid kit (band-aids, alcohol wipes)
Sunscreen
Sunhat for the baby
Cell phone
Wallet

Sarah's Reading

I'm longing for more reading time right now, but I have manged to finish a few books since C was born along with re-reads of the relevant sections of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, which saved my sanity with my first daughter. I'm a fairly ecclectic reader, I typically turn to romance or chick lit for fun reading but I also enjoy sci fi and fantasy and I've found myself doing more non-ficiton reading lately. Some of what I've read in the last few months:

The Shia Revival by Vali Nasr - This one nearly took too much concentration for my post-partum mind, but I found it fascinating when I could focus on it. Seeing the interplay between religion and politics in the Middle East that most of our leaders have ignored was both disturbing and enlightening.

Imperial Life in the Emerald City by Rajiv Chandrasekaran - After reading The Shia Revivial, I was inspired to read more about the situation in Iraq, and I chose this book based on my dh's recommendation. I found it insightful and well-written. It gives a very revealing look at life inside the Green Zone where the Coalition Provisional Authority was stationed from May 2003-June 2004.

The Baker's Apprentice by Judith Ryan Hendricks - This book is the sequel to Bread Alone which I thoroughly enjoyed. I wanted to become a bread baker myself after reading it. I didn't like this volume quite as much. The shift in narrators (back and forth from the main character to her love interest) didn't work well in my opinion, but I would still recommend it to anyone who enjoyed the first book.

The Language of Baklava by Diana Abu-Jaber - I sought out more books that celebrate food after reading The Baker's Apprentice and this turned out to be as good as the blurb I read about it sounded. I loved Abu-Jaber's descriptions of the food of her childhood and how it shaped her vision of her Jordanian/American heritiage. The essays also got me thinking more about the experience of immigrants in America.

The Bargain by Mary Jo Putney - A great Regency romance read. Mary Jo Putney is one of my favorite romance writers. Several of her books have remained on my keeper shelf for over a decade, and it was nice to re-visit some characters from other stories I'd read.

I'm currently re-reading Charlotte Mason's A Philosophy of Education. I first read her 6 volume homeschooling series several years ago when I was teaching high school and doing a lot of thinking about what is wrong with our educational system.

What We've Been Doing This Week

It's been hard to enjoy all the summer activities I'd like to be doing with my family since we have a 3 month old. I'd expected lots of things to be difficult in the first months with a new baby, but I hadn't anticipated how difficult it would be to take a tiny baby who can't have sunscreen on to the pool or even out to a park. We have managed to do some of what we'd planned though and we're still hoping to go berry picking some time in the next few weeks and I'm figuring out the logistics of the pool party one of M's friends is having next week.

This week we went to the farm at the Biltmore Estate and M was able to hold a 1 week old baby chick which was very exciting for her. We saw lambs and horses and goats as well. Then we went up to the restored horse barn where M got to climb on some antique tractors and farm wagons. We wrapped up the morning with a picnic and some ice cream. C spent most of the time asleep in the Moby Wrap (the one piece of baby equipment I could not do without).

M has summer preschool for the next few weeks and on Wednesday they had water play day which she thought was a blast. We also got to have several friends over to play and on Thursday we went to one of the summer reading program activities at the library. A woman make some very intricate balloon art and did magic tricks. It was loud and cheesy but M adored it. C got squirmy and fussy so we didn't get to check out too many books but we did find a few that M is really enjoying - Hot Hippo by Mwenye Hadithi and Adrienne Kennaway, a fable about why the hippos lives in the water during the day and comes out at night to eat grass and Fabian Escapes by Peter McCarty , a very simple story about a dog and a cat and how they spend the day.

M has also been begging for chapter after chapter of books 5 and 6 in the Pony-Crazed Princess series by Diana Kimpton. The books arrived in the mail mid week and we're already on the second one. We've also been having fun with our other book purchase - Charlie and Lola's Picnic Sticker Stories.

M loves to help me bake, something I'm looking forward to doing more and more as the girls get older. On Friday, we made raisin scones before some friends came over. It's been a long time since we've decorated cookies. I'm hoping we can make some gingerbread men next week.

re-introducing myself

It's been quite a while since I posted. I now have a second dd who is almost 3 months old. I'm generally on leave from my writing job though I'm starting to work a little bit again. I want to start posting again, particularly about the activities I'm doing this summer with M and C.

The Wonder of School Valentines

M was so excited this morning about her upcoming school Valentine's Day party that she was about to burst. Unlike many of her friend's preschools, hers puts on a full candy and cupcake extravaganza. I succumbed to the reality that we weren't going to make Valentines for everyone in her school (though we did make them for the teachers) and let her pick out a box of glittery foil Disney Princess cards. I was very excited that she wanted to write her own name on each of them and she loved helping pick out a message heart lollipop for each one. Despite my reservations about giving each child yet another piece of candy, I wasn't going to be caught unaware like I was last year when I was one of only two moms who hadn't realized that Valentine's Day was like Halloween the sequel.

Watching her excitement as Valentine's neared, I started thinking about my own school Valentine's experience and how Valentine's Day has never gotten any better than a handmade folder filled with silly cards and treats. After some vicious fights over the proper way to celebrate Valentine's Day in the early years of our relationship, my husband and I have settled into a comfortable pattern of romantic dinners at as nice a restaurant as we can afford at the time. I enjoy the evenings out, even more now that we're parents, but compared with my daughter's level of excitement, the holiday might as well have passed completely unobserved by me. Now I'm looking forward to picking up M, looking at all her cards and sharing her treats. Yes, she actually we share with me, at least when treats come in abundance.

Moms Judging Moms

I just read an excellent post at Her Bad Mother about cocktail playdates, the ludicrous expectations that are placed on mothers, and the way we all judge each other. The discussion of how we are all guilty of judging other moms and whether this is all bad or not made me think about some of the ways I judge and experience the judgment of other moms.

I live in a fairly crunchy hippie neighborhood, but I'm more middle of the road on hot button issues like diet, TV, sleep training, etc. There are often times when moms I know ask for advice on parenting issues, and I hold my tongue because they would be horrified by my answers. Sometimes when I end up participating in a discussion of how much TV or sweets we allow I lie or at least try not to answer. I've run into problems having some of M's friends over because M and I will plan a fun activity like decorating cookies and then I'll realize the friend's mother would be horrified if I gave her daughter cookies.

But I'm not the innocent party here. I judge these parents too. I might just roll my eyes about what I see as over-bearing strictures, but when I really get up on my high horse is when moms complain about situations they've gotten themselves into then refuse to accept any helpful advice. For example, on a local mailing list, moms frequently complain of being severely sleep-deprived and I know they must be. Yet they refuse to make any effort to reduce the number of times their toddler nurses at night or consider any sleep arrangements other than a family bed. Co-sleeping didn't work for me, but I have no fundamental problem with it. I simply don't want to hear someone complain that they are tired and need help but refuse to make any changes. So I judge them for their choices.

Most of us have parenting issues we feel passionate about to the extent that we cannot accept the opposite opinion as a valid choice for anyone. Is this bad? I'm not sure. I think we do need to have debates and forums where we can express our opinions. If I'd never had the chance to listen to the opinions of mothers that differed from mine when my daughter was a baby, I might never have realized that other perfectly respectable mothers were making choices that could bring back my sanity (like putting my daughter in a crib and letting her cry herself to sleep).

But what made these different opinions more palatable was hearing them from my friends. If we'd judged each other too harshly, we could never have become friends. I think that ultimately what is best is that we all have courage to speak out about our own successes and failures as parents even if we fear being judged. That way we recognize that most people don’t buy wholesale into any one ideology even if they appear to. So maybe if I'm asked today I'll admit that my daughter had some Valentine candy before breakfast, because she went to sleep last night without a struggle. And this afternoon she'll get to eat the lollipop she got at the doctor while she watches Diego and Wonder Pets.